I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
