I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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