yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just pee around me
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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