I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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