i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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