:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
