Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
