Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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