Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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