____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
