She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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