I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
