..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
