just tell him i said nine months
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
