I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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