I need to stop coming to work sober
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Can you bring me the toilet please
i now understand why vodka
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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