Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
