i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
