My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Vodka?
Forever.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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