Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
