i may or may not be watching the land before time
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
