the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I need moral support for this bender
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
