so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
