dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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