Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
3 2 1 whiskey
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
