how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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