Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
