If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
