wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You were trust falling into bushes
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
