What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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