R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
