dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
