do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
