Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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