census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
