Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
