people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
