I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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