So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
