i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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