You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize