he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
