hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
