i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
