Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
