brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
