I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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