would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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