I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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