Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ambien. No doubt about it.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
