If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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